Relationship Tips for Ladies: “More than love, caring, and feelings are necessary for a good marriage. It is not certain that a woman would be happy in her marriage if she chooses to be completely subservient, as would be the case in a patriarchal system.

Alternatively, she might select what makes her happy and live that way. Marriage is not about one person’s satisfaction at the expense of the other. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Relationship Tips for Ladies

“Sex is the most important thing in the world to us males. Men perceive sex in the same way as vampires perceive blood. They desire it rather than merely like it.

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Relationship Tips for Ladies – Because of this, there are usually overtly sexual undertones in vampire legends. A man’s passion may be compared to a vampire’s appetite.

When it comes to dating and relationships, men and women typically have distinct perspectives.

We’ve compiled some of the best relationship tips for you to consider in order to assist all the girls out there. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Below are some great relationship tips of all time

Know your worth and values

Regardless of your appearance, size, shape, and dating history. In our appearance-obsessed and hypersexual culture, the objectification and sexualization of women is, unfortunately, a reality.

But when we buy into it — when we believe that our value comes only from our sex appeal — we suffer as do our relationships.

Research clearly links the sexualization of women with eating disorders, depression, and low-self esteem.

Be mindful of social comparison

When we compare and evaluate ourselves to an unattainable cultural ideal, we fall short. Every time. And our relationships suffer because we struggle with never being good enough. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Be assertive in communication and speak your truth

In the twenty-plus years that I have been working with couples and families in my clinical practice, I have found that there are two overarching reasons that we do not communicate honestly with one another — rejection and retaliation.

We are afraid of losing our partner’s love and we are fearful of retribution, an “I’ll get you back” attitude.

Women especially are socialized to give themselves up for the sake of the relationship, to sacrifice themselves for the other, to be demure, quiet, and passive.

This does nothing to foster healthy relationships but leaves both partners feeling misunderstood, frustrated, and emotionally exhausted and confused. So, learn how to assertively speak your truth in love.

Keep expectations in check

We’ve all grown up on some version of the fairy-tale, where love and romance are portrayed as a novel, exciting, always-passionate-and-steamy, and emotionally significant and meaningful. Relationship Tips for Ladies

When we internalize Hollywood’s exaggerated love story, we are setting our intimate relationships up for failure. It behooves us, therefore, to scrutinize our expectations and be mindful that relationships require work, effort, time, and investment.

Know that there is no perfect person out there for you, the conflict goes hand in hand with intimacy, and love grows over time if we keep at it.

Melissa Divaris Thompson, LMFT

Melissa Divaris Thompson
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist | Owner, Embracing Joy Marriage and Family Therapy, PLLC

Know yourself

It’s so important to get to know yourself. This allows you to get clear about your must-haves and your deal breakers in a relationship. Being clear is the first step to being in a sustainable healthy relationship. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Don’t settle

Many women enter a relationship because they are wanting so badly to be in one versus actually looking at the person whom they are dating. They will overlook certain traits or habits in order to not be along.

Having your list of things you want in a partner can be so helpful because they can guide you and keep you focused on what you want in a relationship.

Of course, no one is perfect but it’s important not to settle on the issues that are most important for you. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Be honest and as authentic as you can

Showing up in the relationship as authentically and with as much honesty as you can, will save you in the long run. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Eventually, relationships get more comfortable or the honeymoon ends, and people start learning things about the other they never knew. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Not that you want to throw out all your dirty laundry on the first date, but being authentic, real and honest will allow you to assess if this is the right relationship for you both.

Relationship Tips for Ladies: Hold onto yourself

Losing yourself in a relationship can be one of the most detrimental challenges to a relationship surviving. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Relationship Tips for Ladies

Once you meet a partner, if you give up all of your interests, hobbies, and friends, this usually means you are starting to lose yourself.

It’s important to hold onto aspects of yourself and to be supported in those by your partner.

Dr. Nancy Lee

Nancy Lee

Choose kindness over “coolness”

The best relationship advice I can give to women is at the very beginning, meaning: choose your partner wisely! For starters, look particularly for a partner who is kind and demonstrates empathy.

Empathy is psychologically defined as, “the ability to understand and feel what someone else is feeling in an emotional sense.” Relationship Tips for Ladies

Even if a guy doesn’t understand you immediately, if he at least tries and works to understand how you feel in various situations, you’ll feel accepted— and eventually loved, for who you truly are.

Not despite your flaws but with your flaws. (And the reverse holds as well; as in, you try to really put yourself in your partner’s shoes, too.)

Actually, one of the most powerful things you can say to another person (and this holds for a lover, coworker, or even a friend or adolescent child is simply: “Help me understand.”

Practicing empathy helps grow emotional intimacy between two people in leaps and bounds, and becoming close like that with another person is actually one of the most rewarding, if not thrilling, human experiences there are.

Plus, on a happy side note, guess what research says is the number one psychological attribute of the best lovers? You guessed it; empathy!

Trust your instincts

So, of course, the advice to wisely choose a partner begs the question: How can I tell if a person is right for me if I don’t know them well yet? This leads to my second critical piece of relationship advice: trust your instincts!

Interestingly, I’ve noticed that unlike men who actually do tend to trust their instincts, women will often talk themselves out of their own gut intuition—often with disastrous consequences.

Many of my female patients present for therapy struggling and unhappy in their relationships because they are involved with guys who are narcissists or emotional manipulators, for instance; not surprisingly, nearly all these women say that they wished they’d listened to their instincts and paid attention to the red flags they dismissed or rationalized away early on.

Narcissists, incidentally, are incredibly charming but are emotionally cold and lack empathy. One early warning sign that you are dating a narcissist is that they discuss their issues in inappropriately lengthy detail, but become impatient, disinterested, irritated and/or dismissive when you try to talk about your own concerns.

Stand your ground

Once you’ve learned to trust your instincts, you’ll also begin to genuinely trust yourself, with the added benefit of truly standing your ground in a relationship, even early on. Relationship Tips for Ladies

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No, this doesn’t mean you have to always get what you want, but it does keep you from doing things to please someone else that you really don’t want to do.

One example of this is “polite,” “people-pleasing” sex. For example, if you’re dating someone you really like but are feeling pressured to sleep with him before you’re ready, please know that if you refuse sex and a guy walks without caring enough to wait and see what develops, it becomes immediately obvious the dude is not your soulmate.

In sum, if you go for kindness over “coolness,” listen to and trust your instincts, and stop being afraid to stand your ground—you’ll not only empower yourself with important life skills, but you’ll be well on your way to a thrilling and fulfilling relationship.

Develop a team concept

Most people think that infidelity or money issues cause relationships to fail. But, in my experience, the relationships are on the track to failure before those things happen. In other words, infidelity is more of a symptom than a cause.

In my experience, the cause of relationship failures is a breakdown in the two people working as a team. For a relationship to succeed, the two people need to have common goals for their couple hood. Both people should be honest about being “on the team” or wanting to be off the team.

Set your own couple terms

A couple should not let others, or society, or family define their relationship guidelines and goals as a couple. They can set their own parameters for their relationship. I have seen many marriages that succeeded with nontraditional parameters.

The most extreme may be the premarital agreement which defined the terms of the physical relationship of the parties, the division of labor in the household, as well as the more common financial terms. But there are many relationships that have guidelines that others would not want.

Strengthen your conflict resolution skills

Being able to overcome conflict in a reasonable and rational way without harboring resentment is one of the biggest keys to the success of any relationship. Relationship Tips for Ladies

My parents had a rule that they didn’t go to bed mad at each other. So, they either had to work out their disagreement or go without sleep. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Think of problems on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being like an annoying flying buzzing your face and a 10 being a tornado about to hit your house. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Where on that continuum does the current problem lie? If it’s a 1 or 2 for both parties, then let it go. If one party thinks it’s a big deal and the other party cares very little, then the party who cares least needs to let it go.

Beware of slippage in your relationship

One raindrop doesn’t cause a flood. Neither does one fight or one mistake cause a relationship to fail. But a bunch of unresolved little things can lead to a big problem. Deal with little things early and often.

Don’t use the “d-word” lightly

Don’t say it if you aren’t sure. Don’t use the “d-word” for shock value or attention-seeking. Once that skunk is thrown out there, it is hard to ignore the smell. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Prioritize yourself

Don’t fall into the trap of neglecting your needs while serving your partner. Your needs are just as valid and important. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Don’t stuff the negatives

If you have negative feelings towards your partner, avoid the extremes of becoming harsh and stuffing them down. Both lead to disastrous results. Learn how to constructively express your negative feelings.

Elevate sex

If you’re the lower libido partner, you may need to elevate the value of sex in your relationship. It’s probably one of the top ways for your higher libido partner to feel loved.

However, within sexual encounters, prioritize your experience first by making it more clitoral focused than penetration focused. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Don’t lose yourself and give up on your interests

A common theme among women in unhappy relationships is a loss of self. One way women lose themselves is by giving up their interests.

This may occur because they prioritize their partner’s interests because their partner declines to join them, or because their partner disapproves of their pursuits.

I’ve had a patient tell me that dancing used to be her favorite activity and her main source of exercise. She gave up dancing because her husband didn’t want to join her and made her feel guilty for going without him.

Individual interests, hobbies, and pursuits are intrinsically valuable. They help us recharge our batteries, experience flow, and often provide a sense of community.

In the absence of such opportunities, we can become psychologically and emotionally depleted as well as isolated. Relationship Tips for Ladies

When challenges in the relationship arise, women who feel depleted are in a more vulnerable position and risk further losses.

Kevin Darne
Founder, Love Alert 911 | Author, My Cat Won’t Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany)

It has been said women fall in love with their ears and men fall in love with their eyes. However, with age comes wisdom; men learn all that glitters is not gold and women learn actions speak louder than words.

Each of us chooses our own friends, lovers, and spouse. Each of us has our own mate selection/screening process and must-haves list. Each of us has our own boundaries and “deal breakers”.

Life is a personal journey and you are responsible for your own happiness.

The most important thing a woman can do is to know herself, love herself, and trust herself
When you are clear about what you want and have the self-discipline to stick with your mate selection criteria, you’re more likely to find happiness.

Forget about the old adage of teaching people how to treat you
School is out! If you have to “teach someone” to be kind, considerate, loving, respectful, and affectionate towards you it means you are with the wrong person!

Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine. The goal is to find someone who already is the kind of person you want to be with.

Very few people are walking around with one hand raised in the air screaming: “I’m looking for someone to change me!” Most people want to be loved and appreciated for who they are.

Generally speaking, people don’t change unless they are unhappy.

Ideally, you want to choose someone who shares your same values and wants the same things for the relationship

You would naturally agree on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.

There is no amount of work or communication which can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want.

Compatibility trumps compromise. Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!

Acceptance is key

There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.

Accept them as is or move on. The choice is up to us. No one is “stuck” with anyone. Suffering is optional.

Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary. – Oscar Wilde.

Dan Johnson, LPC-S

Dan Johnson
Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor, Reid Counseling

Have your own space

This one may seem counter-intuitive, but sometimes the best way to grow closer together is to spend some time apart.

Couples often suffer from what I like to call ‘over-exposure syndrome’, which occurs when the constant presence of your significant other causes you to take them for granted.

Taking time alone doesn’t have to be sad or scary. It can be as simple as each of you taking dedicating some time to explore a favorite hobby, or otherwise grow as an individual.

This can be an hour or two per day, or a day out of every week. Perhaps there is something to the old adage that absence makes the heart grow fonder!

Typical signs that you could use a break from your partner include:

According to this study, 31% of women report not having enough personal time in their marriage (as do 29% of men).

When participants in the study who weren’t happy with their marriages were asked to give a reason, 11.5% reported that is was a lack of private/personal time.

This almost doubles the 6% who attributed their unhappiness to unsatisfactory sex life.

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Dr. Jennifer Burns, NMD

Jennifer Burns
Owner, Burns Integrative Wellness Center

Have an exit strategy

I believe that when we enter a relationship, we do not consider or consider having a route out. We believe this to be the right one for me. If the connection works out, that’s fantastic.

I believe that as women, we must enter relationships with the knowledge that we have a way out. Knowing you have a back up plan in case the relationship doesn’t work out, in my opinion, boosts self-confidence.

Even if he may not always be the most expressive, your boyfriend still cares for you.
Start observing other ways he could show his affection, such as by buying you presents, doing pleasant things for you, or supporting the family.

While it would be nice for him to tell you more often in words, it may be challenging for him. Don’t let it get in the way of your connection.

Moreover, make sure you express your appreciation to him.

Try not to be critical. His main aim is to please you and if you pick on him, he will feel unloved and undervalued. Find ways to acknowledge what he does for you.

Learn to communicate clearly

One of the most crucial foundational elements of every relationship is communication. Express what you want clearly and how you want it done.

Unless you explicitly state what you want, no one you’re dating will know your preferences or what’s going on in your thoughts.

Knowing what you want may be more challenging, but if anything in the relationship is bothering you without knowing why, talk to your spouse about it in a cool, collected manner.

Another thing to remember is to apologize. A simple “I’m sorry” can carry you through almost any emotional outburst.

Don’t fake it

Never fake orgasms. A little scratch to your partner’s ego is better than them thinking they’ve figured out how to pleasure you while they’re, in reality, doing the wrong thing.

They will only continue to do the incorrect technique in the future because you’ve rewarded the behavior of incorrect technique. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Digging yourself into a hole of sexual lies that you won’t be able to climb out of in the future. Instead, be upfront with your partner about what they should be doing in the bedroom and help to guide them, even if it cuts into their ego a little bit, it’s better for the relationship in the long run.

Accept your insecurities, stop fighting them; we all have them.

Still single? Blaming others for being emotionally unavailable means you may want to check in the mirror to see your own unavailability.

Be genuine. If you don’t let others in on who you really are, how can they come to know you?
Be prepared to devote yourself to dating like someone who hopes to be spotted on Hollywood Boulevard.

If you’re committed, you’ll persevere through the highs and lows, keep your eyes on the prize, and keep turning up. Keep appearing!

Instead of criticizing or trying to please the other person, center yourself and ask yourself if you’re having fun. How can you tell whether you are having fun if you don’t know how you feel?
Ricky Flint

Be true to yourself, don’t settle, but be realistic in your expectations

Expecting a partner to meet all of your expectations (ex. 6’2” tall, blonde hair, a doctor, home on the lake, and likes to vacation in the countryside of France) is setting yourself up for failure in the romance department.

Determine what you value most in a spouse, then model it for someone else.
Be trustworthy if you want a friend you can rely on.

Be a best friend to your mate if you want them to be your best buddy. By exhibiting the traits you value, you may teach people how to treat you.

Some Amazing Ways to Make Him Love You More!

Found yourself a perfect guy? Well, if you’re looking for ways to keep your man happy, find out how to be a good girlfriend and treat him right.

Ways to Make Him Love You More

So you’re in a relationship and you want to make it last. You love your boyfriend, he’s a great guy, and now you want to know how to be the best girlfriend back in return.

The art of being a girlfriend is simple. Make your man feel special and cared for, and he will do the same and love you for it.

But if you want to know how to be a good girlfriend, there are a few things that matter a lot more than others.

You may already be indulging in a few of these traits without realizing it. But if you aren’t, perhaps it’s time to be learn how to be a good girlfriend and make your man fall in love with you, more with each passing day.

The secret to being a good girlfriend who makes her guy fall more in love every day

Men pursue women they love fervently, but once they get the girl, many men stop trying to enchant her.

Even though you’ve been seeing your perfect guy for months or even years, if he consistently makes you feel like the queen of the world, it might be time for you to return the favor.

Amazing Tips on how to become a good girlfriend

As it turns out, there’s no one secret to staying together for the long haul, but there are a few simple things you can do to make you the best girlfriend he’s ever had.

Read on to find out what you can do to make him wake up with a smile every day.

Remember, you’re in a relationship. You’re not just there for each other to roll around in the hay and go at it in bed. There has to be a connection and deep intimacy.

Be a companion to him. Share your interests and respect each other’s views.

Clingy girlfriends are a major turn-off. While constantly calling and texting him may be all right in the first stages of your relationship, it can get old pretty soon.

So if you don’t ease up on demanding for his attention, he’ll want to break free and break up. Show that you trust your man enough to let him live his life. In the end, he’ll be the one who will be chasing you.

A good girlfriend will not stir conflict between herself and her man’s friends—or worse, make his man choose between her and his friends.

Remember, his friends were there long before you came into the picture, so you should respect that. They may be foolish and childish at times, but they are his friends.

You wouldn’t want him to come between you and your girlfriends, right?

Another way to get the love and affection of your man right from the get-go is to make his friends like you, too. Their seal of approval is a great pat on the back to your man, and he’ll be proud to have you as his girl.

Now this is important, especially if you both are in a serious relationship. If you want to know how to be a good girlfriend, this is a great move to start with.

Your boyfriend may be smitten by you, but he’s got significant “baggage” that needs some impressing too.

Every time you’re with his family, try to participate in the conversations and be cheerful around them. If he sees that you’re bonding well and having a great time with his family, you’re probably going to see his eyes welling up with tears of happiness!

Food is truly a great way to a man’s heart. So while you can’t be in the kitchen 24/7, at least visit it once in a while to whip up something delicious for your guy.

It doesn’t matter if it’s just pancakes or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. What matters is that you’re showing him that you want to take care of him by making that effort.

It goes without saying, but a good girlfriend is a faithful one. It doesn’t matter if you’re the hottest, most beautiful woman in the room and all the guys are drooling at you.

Let your man know that he’s the only guy for you and that he has your full attention. Never flirt around with other guys, and let him know that he can trust you. He will be loyal to you, too.

Women want to be treated with respect, just as men want to be respected to. A good girlfriend doesn’t just demand respect from her guy, she earns it.

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When you believe in yourself and your capabilities and have a strong and determined personality, it’ll make your boyfriend respect you for the person you are.

Learn to show off your capabilities and awe him, and he’ll begin to listen to you and respect your opinion, not because you’re his girlfriend but because you’re such a wonderful person.

For a guy, there’s nothing sexier than a girl who can illuminate a room when she steps in. Be that girl. When the whole room stops and stares at you, it’ll fill your boyfriend’s *shallow* heart with happiness and pride.

Dress like a million bucks when you go out with him, and if his jaw drops at first sight and he can’t stop glancing sideways at you when you walk with him, you know you’ve worked your magic!

Give him enough space so he feels that you trust him. Always questioning him about his whereabouts will only make him feel caged, and you will only look possessive.

A good girlfriend trusts her man, but knows how to set boundaries when that trust is broken.

Everyone is drawn to a pleasing personality. Negativity just repels people, regardless of how they are related to you.

The best girlfriends are the ones who have a pleasing personality that makes them easy and comfortable to be around. He’ll want to spend more time with you, and he’ll want to please you, too.

So he can be frustratingly childish and messy at times. This doesn’t mean you should fire your mouth off. A good girlfriend knows the art of “nagging” constructively.

Try not to raise your voice. Instead, talk to him in a soft, even seductive, tone. Disarm him with your sweetness and let your concern shine through instead of your need to control by nagging.

So he’s had a bad day and he just wants to rant for the rest of the evening. Let him. A key to healthy relationships is communication, and crucial to this is listening.

Know when to talk, but also know when your man just needs someone to listen to.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s not worth ruining a good day with your man, or even ruining your relationship, over something trivial. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Learn when something truly is worth fighting over, but also learn when to leave things as they are.

Every guy dreams of getting a girl who’s independent, but yet dependent. Some girls are rather clingy and need a boyfriend’s help for everything.

On the other hand, there are a few other girls who are way too independent. Guys love the middle path.

Every guy likes to be there for his girlfriend in her time of need. It may be his protective instinct or he may just want to impress you or please you.

If you don’t really need him to help you, but you still want him around when you’re doing something because you love his company, any guy would love you for that.

Guys may appreciate an overly dependent girl, or even a completely independent girl who doesn’t want her guy to be involved in her personal life at the beginning, but as the relationship grows, he’d fall more in love with a girl who doesn’t need him, but wants him in her life.

You two may have a great sex life, but what about everywhere else? You can be coy in bed for most of the time, but every now and then, reveal your naughty side to him.

A good girlfriend knows how to play coy but every now and then, she shows him a few sexy moves that can pleasantly surprise him.

Okay, so we’re not saying that you have to be a porn star. But sex can be an important part of any relationship, so make sure he feels that you’re enjoying it just as much as he is.

And if you’re not, speak up! Communicating with him, as well as listening and being open to his needs, is key to having great sexual chemistry.

A good girlfriend is aware of the world around her. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist, but if you can be witty and fun, and mix it up with intelligence when you’re having a conversation with him, there’s no way he would ever let someone like you slip away from him.

And remember, an intelligent person isn’t always a walking-talking-google, it could even be a person who knows a few things, but knows it well.

Make him feel special and loved. From something as simple as a massage at the end of a long work day, to spending uninterrupted weekends with him, remember to go that extra mile to show how much you love him and how much he means to you.

Look at how he treats you and think about the things you do together. Find ways to tell and show him how much you have appreciated him throughout your relationship.

This will make him feel great about all the effort he’s spent, which will therefore make him feel great about investing in a long-term relationship with you.

It’s no secret that men love their egos to be stroked. But men also have insecurities despite their tough exteriors.

By giving his ego a boost, he won’t go looking for other means *or other girls* to make him feel good about himself. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Make him feel attractive and desirable by complimenting him, but make sure you’re genuine about it.

Men like to feel in control—it’s innate in their nature. They often want to feel in charge, so let him fill that role.

Let him feel that he can take the lead by asking for his opinion about certain things in your relationship and being open to his suggestions. Relationship Tips for Ladies

There’s nothing more attractive on a woman than pure self-confidence. Don’t let insecurities and doubts get the best of you, and he will know just what kind of woman he has. He will love you more for it.

Do you take care of yourself, physically and otherwise? Fill your life with happiness and have a positive outlook towards life. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Work out, look good and feel good about yourself. And help your boyfriend look good and feel good too.

When both of you are cheerful and happy with yourselves and with each other, both of you will feel radiant and full of positivity which can have a positive impact on your lives.

A good girlfriend doesn’t just teach her man how to be romantic or chivalrous. She knows her boyfriend inside out and helps him fix his flaws and improves his perfections. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Do you motivate your man to achieve his dreams? Do you talk about his future and his potential? One of the better traits of a good girlfriend is her interest and ability to subtly guide her man to become the best he can ever be.

A guy wants his girlfriend to be sweet and caring, but every now and then, especially when there’s a game on or when he’s spending some guy time with the boys, he would absolutely love it if you could chug a pitcher of beer or chew gum like a man!

If you want to know how to be a good girlfriend, learn to hang out with him and his friends and have a good time in the boys’ club now and then. Relationship Tips for Ladies

Be your boyfriend’s shoulder to lean on, and be the loudest voice in the room when you’re cheering him on. It may be as big as trying to start his own venture, or as simple as getting you breakfast in bed.

Let him know that you’re always going to be his biggest cheerleader, all through life. Just as he would and should be for you too.

While relationships should be fun and comfortable and not an endless struggle or competition, it pays to put your best foot forward. Relationship Tips for Ladies

After all, if you care enough about your man, you naturally want to be the best girlfriend for him.

We all have room for improvement, and by following these tips on how to be a good girlfriend to your guy, you can be sure he’ll thank his lucky stars for finding a girl who’s as awesome as you are.

Just follow these simple but very effective ways on how to be a good girlfriend and you’ll be able to awe him, mesmerize him, and make him fall head over heels in love, now that you’re the best girlfriend he can ever get! Relationship Tips for Ladies


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